Friday, October 21, 2011

The ego of the narcissist

It's been awhile since I hit up my blog, and I really have no excuse if you don't count the fact that I occasionally like to eat and sleep.  I just discovered this very awesome blog called Surviving Narcissism (which can be found at for anyone who's interested) which reminded me yet again that I've been subconsciously caving to the damn Narcissists in my life.  By not writing on my blog about the issues we've had with Alan's mother and brother lately.  Cuz they might somehow read it and get offended :-/  No, seriously, I didn't want to write it because of that.  Because the last time I expressed outrage on Facebook that my  Narcissist MIL was coming for an unexpected visit (because my husband got all stressed out about work & forgot to tell me) his brother went all enabler and told me I lacked manners.  I can't make this shit up. MIL announced that it was one of my favorite author's fault that someone else's marriage broke up.  Not going to mention the author because I want to respect her privacy, but the MIL is convinced that because said author may not have the societally correct monogamous relationship with her husband, she is responsible for the breakup of someone else's marriage.  Because this makes sense in the world my MIL lives in.  Although my MIL is a licensed counselor of social work, it would never occur to her that said marriage may have had problems before author was ever introduced to the situation.  Because it doesn't fit with her worldview.  This is the same woman who tonight announced she wanted to start a grass roots movement for school reform in Kentucky all by herself because she's such an expert on autism and the schools aren't.  She gave much more detail on her idea for change, but the key aspect seemed to be her profound belief that people would follow her.  Because her ego is bigger than she is (and that's saying something cuz she's about 300 pounds.)  

After the realization hit me that I was enabling the family's behavior of "the MIL is always right" by not blogging about issues that have happened recently (because the Gods know I'm the root of all their problems, just ask them) I decided to go ahead and write this slightly inebriated blog entry and post it on Twitter.  Because I do have the right to my feelings and I do have a right to express myself and dammit I do matter.  

The hubby and I are at a really good place right now and while he doesn't always agree with me about his mother, he has come to understand that she's not right.  And that's really all I need from him.  She is his mom, after all, and no matter how manipulative and controlling she can be, he loves her.

1 comment:

  1. "Because I do have the right to my feelings and I do have a right to express myself and dammit I do matter."

    You said it.

    You matter.