Narcissism Resources

I’ve been dealing with Narcissism for about twelve years now.  Little did I know it at the time, but I married into a family who had three members who were extreme Narcissists with enough diagnostic criteria to match Narcissistic Personality Disorder (or NPD).  Once I figured out NPD was actually a thing and I wasn’t losing my mind, I looked all over the internet for information on it.  As I found websites, blogs, articles, and people on Twitter who were also dealing with someone who had NPD in their lives it occurred to me it might be a really good idea to put some of these resources into a blog post.  Because those of us dealing with NPD people need all the help we can get.  So…here it is.  I really hope it’s helpful and please feel free to add any additional resources in the comments J

Websites

http://www.halcyon.com/jmashmun/npd/

This was the very first website I found on NPD.  The author has since transitioned, but a family member has kept the site up and running bless their heart.  This was the first place that let me know I wasn’t losing my mind in dealing with the N’s in my husband’s family.  To this day I know people who go to the site for affirmation and solace.

http://outofthefog.net/

This site is for personality disorders and offers forums, books, links, and maybe most importantly, a section on what to do in an emergency situation with a person who has a personality disorder.

http://thenarcissisticlife.com/what-is-a-narcissist-and-what-is-narcissism/

I set the link for this one on what narcissism is for any newbies.  Great information available here – definitely check it out.

Online Communities

https://onemomsbattle.com/

This was recommended by a friend who has an N in her life.  Looks like a great community with resources available.

https://www.psychopathfree.com/

This community was also recommended by an acquaintance with an N in her life.  Looks like pretty good stuff!

Online Articles

Originally I just stuck all the articles up on this post, but as I found more it occurred to me that it might be helpful to have them a bit more organized.  So here are the organized online articles:

Tips and Warnings

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/virginia-gilbert-mft/what-therapists-dont-tell_b_2622776.html

http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/5-early-warning-signs-youre-with-a-narcissist/

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tina-swithin/8-tips-for-dealing-with-a_b_2799069.html

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lindsey-ellison/the-1-secret-on-how-to-en_b_5785616.html?utm_hp_ref=divorce&ir=Divorce

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-creativity-cure/201408/if-you-are-the-target-narcissistic-abuse

http://thenarcissisticlife.com/games-narcissists-play/

http://thoughtcatalog.com/shahida-arabi/2016/06/20-diversion-tactics-highly-manipulative-narcissists-sociopaths-and-psychopaths-use-to-silence-you/

Relationships with a Narcissist

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/anxiety-zen/201502/forget-co-parenting-narcissist-and-do-instead

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/margaret-paul-phd/when-your-love-is-not-enough_b_8280968.html

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/compassion-matters/201206/self-esteem-versus-narcissism

http://www.the-open-mind.com/you-can-never-win-in-a-relationship-with-a-narcissist/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/stop-walking-eggshells/201209/can-narcissists-and-borderlines-have-healthy-relationships

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/spycatcher/201410/12-things-narcissists-think

http://pro.psychcentral.com/recovery-expert/2016/07/the-narcissists-flying-monkeys/


Gaslighting

http://everydayfeminism.com/2016/01/gaslit-poem/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=SocialWarfare

https://relationshipedia.me/2015/06/16/the-8-most-common-narc-sadistic-conversation-control-tactics/

http://theearthchild.co.za/gaslighting-as-a-manipulation-tactic-what-it-is-who-does-it-and-why/

https://www.yahoo.com/beauty/happened-friends-were-gaslighted-someone-170000976.html

Blogs

http://www.rubbershoesinhell.com/

Michelle is hysterically funny and very real.  This is a wonderful place to go and visit when you’re feeling frustrated with the N in your life.

http://survivingnarcissism.com/

This has become so much more than a blog – you could almost say it’s become a community for those who have an N in their lives.  The blog is written under the pseudonym Jesse Blayne (anyone who has a Narcissist in their lives will know why this is written under a pseudonym) and is my very favorite place to go when I’m feeling overwhelmed.  Jesse calls us thrivers = survivors of Narcissism who are thriving.  It’s one of the best feelings to think of yourself that way.

Vlogs

I'll be adding more of these as I come across them.  These are video blogs from youtube, so if you'd rather not watch a video then don't click the links.

How to speak to a Narcissist

This vlog has been placed in the top spot because it has an excellent (about 7 minute long) description of narcissistic behavior.  This is the first vlog I've seen from Dr. Greg Hamlin, but I'll definitely be checking out more of his stuff.

Signs of Verbal Abuse

This vlog is by Noel McDermott who posts lots of good stuff on Twitter.  He gave me permission to post it and I'll be keeping my eye out for any others he puts up.

Signs of Emotional Abuse

Here's another one by Noel, which does mention narcissists and gaslighting along with other signs of emotional abuse.

Early Warning Signs

Dr. Craig Malkin is doing a series of videos on Narcissism to help people understand if they're dealing with an extreme narcissist in their lives.  This video gives some early warning signs of gaslighting.

Diagnosing Narcissism

Noel explains how he diagnoses narcissism and also mentions the best thing you can do if involved with a narcissist is take care of you because the narcissist will rarely want to seek the help they need.

Saying No, Being Loved

Boundaries are so important in any relationship and this vlog gives some good tips on how to set a boundary and deal with fall out from that.

How to Set Healthy Boundaries

Sometimes we need to give ourselves permission to set firm boundaries.  They are meant to protect our inner selves and values.

Empathy and Codependency

It's important to know there's a difference between these two things.  Codependency is a sign of being uncomfortable on your own while empathy is a sign of trying to make another person feel better.

Holidays Rock and Hard Place

This vlog was done by a user on You Tube (Narcissism Survivor) who has lots of videos.  This particular one talks about the holidays and how to deal with people who don't understand the dysfunctional family system.

Traumatic Relationships

Dr. Craig Malkin talks about how trauma and dealing with a narcissist go hand in hand.  Unfortunately, my experience has been that if you've been emotionally traumatized before it tends to attract narcissists and other toxic people.

When the Golden Child Turns

Talks about the scapegoat and golden child in the household of the Narcissist.

You're not Allowed to Have Feelings

Why does the narcissist not allow you to feel?  Have you ever had a discussion with a narcissist and been allowed to express your feelings?  I'm not sure I agree that narcissists can't feel, but I do believe they believe their feelings mean more than anyone else's.

Triggers, Up and Down

This is a good discussion of how the most normal things can trigger someone who's dealt with a narcissist.  This one also talks about childhood sexual trauma so keep that in mind if that's a trigger for you.

The Narcissist's Cycle of Abuse in 4 steps

This vlog is by the You Tube user Understanding Narcissists and presents a good example of the wrath of the Narcissist and how that follows through.  Something that really struck me with this one is the need for the Narcissist to be around someone else.

Adult Children of Narcissists 

There are so many issues adult children of narcissists face, and many of them don't even realize their childhood was mired with emotional abuse.  Others are in complete denial of there ever being a problem.  For those who have realized that just because their parents suck doesn't mean they have to suck - these links are for you.  

https://theinvisiblescar.wordpress.com/2013/04/14/surviving-the-narcissistic-parent-acons-adult-children-of-narcissists/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-legacy-distorted-love/201205/it-s-all-about-me-recovery-adult-children-narcissist

http://mental-health-matters.com/narcissistic-mothers-and-their-children/

http://www.bustle.com/articles/109435-9-signs-you-have-a-toxic-parent

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/romance-redux/201508/one-simple-way-protect-yourself-narcissists

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/insight-is-2020/201405/narcissistic-parents-psychological-effect-their-children

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/6-ways-to-know-you-were-raised-by-narcissists_us_5616b091e4b0082030a18f72

Codependency

On the same note as children who grew up with narcissists as parents there are those who developed codependency because of their relationships with a parent.  Here are some places to go and get information on codependency.

https://outofthefog.net/CommonNonBehaviors/Codependency.html

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolution-the-self/201412/codependent-or-simply-dependent-what-s-the-big-difference

http://www.whatiscodependency.com/do-you-love-a-narcissist/

http://bpdfamily.com/content/codependency-codependent-relationships

http://psychcentral.com/lib/codependency-no-more-how-to-recover-from-self-love-deficit-disorder/

Books – Coming Soon!

There are a couple of books I'll be adding to this section soon.  And as with all the other sections I'll keep adding books as I find them.

The Narcissistic Family:  Diagnosis and Treatment
by Stephanie Donaldson-Pressman and Robert M. Pressman



This book isn't about NPD per se, but it is about what happens to kids whose parents can't actually take care of them.  Most of the situations in here are about abused kids, or kids raised by alcoholics, but what I noticed is these parents have the same inability to empathize with their kids as a narcissistic parent has.  So, I'm listing it here because it was helpful to me and I hope it will help others, as well.  The actual book review I wrote can be found here.

Other Stuff

Humor is one of the best methods of dealing with NPD in my personal opinion.  So again, in no particular order, are some funny resources:

If anyone wants bigger copies of these please let me know and I can email them to you.  The last picture is from Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood and I would LOVE to have General Armstrong take care of each and every Narcissist I've ever had to deal with.

This idea is hysterically funny when you think of a Narcissist receiving it, but unlike the previous three funnies this one comes with a common sense warning.  If you have realized someone in your life is a Narcissist then you have probably been on the receiving end of their rage.  While any other person would laugh off getting glitter bombed, a narcissist may very well harass the company until they get the personal information for the individual who slighted them.  Read the FAQ section (located via link at the bottom of the website) carefully and seriously consider if the Narcissist is still in your life whether glitter bombing them is worth the havoc that will ensue.  With that in mind I give you:

https://shipyourenemiesglitter.com/

I'm not going to list any Twitter users because some of us like our privacy, but if you do a search for #NPD it should bring up quite a few of us.  Please feel free to join in the discussion, but know that Twitter has a wonderful feature called Block.  (Yes we've been trolled by Narcissists on Twitter, too.)