Thursday, March 21, 2013

In the Fog

So....I've been having real issues with seasonal depression since about February.  Why February?  Because normally February is the time when Winter starts to sulk away and Spring begins to poke her head around this corner.  But this year Winter has been throwing herself a merry little party & Spring got held up at the gate.  And it has been withering me.  Didn't help that Donald had his tonsils removed in February (talk about a sensory overload for an introvert already fighting off SAD) and that Winter's continued to throw herself a party all through March.  March!  We're supposed to have blue skies, flowers, and birds out by now!  

I'm an INFJ (it's a Myers Briggs personality preference if that seems like another language) and so I pick up on little things that end up making patterns (to me anyway) and eventually explain themselves.  There's been this one website hanging around in my Tabs that for some reason I've not gotten rid of.  The site is called Out of the Fog and is a help aid to those of us who have people with personality disorders in our lives.  For some reason I hadn't let that website go...and then I figured out it was because I WASN'T out of the fog...I was most definitely in its midst.  

Another clue to the depth of the depression I'm currently in was an article I read about a psychologist who served in Iraq who just couldn't escape his own depression and PTSD.  That man was a help to so many and ended up killing himself because he just couldn't get away from the misery.  You can read about this hero here, but what clued me in is that he had many of the same characteristics I have when I'm depressed.  And it hit me that if this Winter continues on much longer, I'd find a way to end it myself.  Which really sucks because I have three kiddos that I love more than my own life so....yeah.  It presents a problem.

So here's my coping strategies:  1 - take the time I need to just be here and not beat myself up over what I'm not getting done.  2 - Read.  When I get really low reading saves my sanity.  3 - Don't worry about my creative writing right now.  The ideas will be here when I'm more able to focus on them and not just getting through day to day.  4 - Spend time with the fam, but don't be afraid to get the introvert time I need.  They'll get plenty of happy me the rest of the year and I need lots of alone time right now.  5 - Embrace the funny.  Laughter is a wonderful balm to almost anything so if I can find it, I'm going to enjoy it.

Speaking of laughter, here's a hilarious piece of a Middle Earth fan playing Gollum as a counselor ;-)


  1. Jenn,

    I can relate.

    If it weren't for the fact that our neighbors already think we are loons, I'd be dancing in the street with my arms raised to that yellow orb in the sky.

    The sun helps SO much.

    Sending you a care package full of sun beams today.


  2. Aww thanks so much for the kind words and thoughtfulness :) Every little bit of cheer helps right now, so I'm racking up as much as I can. Loved your blog about tools to help the kiddos deal with N's. We all need toolboxes to deal with whatever our issues are. Hugs to you & the kiddos!